I don't like it when people tease me about. First few times it sounded funny. But after a while i got sick and tired of it. It is not funny at all. Who says that I am rightfully his? They are just making me angry and leaving me feeling stupid.

Zubaidah, what are the chances that we are going to date? Even normal days we don't even go out. We seldom speak to each other. There is a big gate of silence that separate the both of us. Our mouths were sealed everytime we meet. It's like as if we both what we were thinking inside our mind. We always talk about mundane stuff. Work, religious. Nothing beyond that.

But from what i feel, i think that we do not have any special relationship. Because firstly he just wanted to treat me like a normal friend. I guess my love for him is one-sided. Maybe he will continue to love Yati. And maybe they will get married. OMG!!! I cannot continue any furthur... it hurts. It really really hurts to think of that.

Not available in MSN, not in facebook either. It makes me think that he had already forgotten about me. Why Hazri?

Pls berterus terang denganku. Hati ini tak sanggup untuk berdiam lagi. Semakin kau jauh dariku, semakin ku takut untuk kehilangan mu Hazri... (crying)

When will i get to know the truth???

Ever since I know Hazri, things have change. Not for the worst but for the better. Unfortunately, i never get to know him better. When we talk we always talk about religious. I don't dare to chat about other topics. Maybe he also feel the same way.

The sad thing is that someone told me that he use to like this girl in SG also. When i think of liking him, I always have this thought of being selfish, ruthless. It got me thinking of why i should be the third party if they are still in da relationship. Why must i spoil their happiness. Their love for one another. Their longing to be together.

He told me already that if i m 20 yrs old then he will consider. Why must he set such criteria for me? Why can't he love me like a normal person? Am I too young for him? C'mon... age is just a figure. Love is not about figure. It is about the person itself.

I love hazri. I really love him a lot. I cannot lie to myself anymore. The more i convince myself with this lie, the more it hurts inside. My heart already have a wound from da past. I don't want the wound to get any bigger but thinking about him makes it feel like da wound is being stab by a thousand swords.

I truely do not know how this is going to end. But i hope it will be a happy ending. Its just that I m afraid to lose hazri. Not being able to see him anymore. God pls help me. I do not know what to do now. Da minimum i can do is to pray that my relationship with hazri will bloom like a beautiful flower. Or if not i will treat him like my elder brother. The one that will always be by my side, supporting me. the one who will protect me from the storm.

Hazri please don't keep quiet. I need to know what u think of me. As the silence between us passes day by day, i feel weaker and unprotected. Hazri please say something... quiet i no good.