Ever since I know Hazri, things have change. Not for the worst but for the better. Unfortunately, i never get to know him better. When we talk we always talk about religious. I don't dare to chat about other topics. Maybe he also feel the same way.
The sad thing is that someone told me that he use to like this girl in SG also. When i think of liking him, I always have this thought of being selfish, ruthless. It got me thinking of why i should be the third party if they are still in da relationship. Why must i spoil their happiness. Their love for one another. Their longing to be together.
He told me already that if i m 20 yrs old then he will consider. Why must he set such criteria for me? Why can't he love me like a normal person? Am I too young for him? C'mon... age is just a figure. Love is not about figure. It is about the person itself.
I love hazri. I really love him a lot. I cannot lie to myself anymore. The more i convince myself with this lie, the more it hurts inside. My heart already have a wound from da past. I don't want the wound to get any bigger but thinking about him makes it feel like da wound is being stab by a thousand swords.
I truely do not know how this is going to end. But i hope it will be a happy ending. Its just that I m afraid to lose hazri. Not being able to see him anymore. God pls help me. I do not know what to do now. Da minimum i can do is to pray that my relationship with hazri will bloom like a beautiful flower. Or if not i will treat him like my elder brother. The one that will always be by my side, supporting me. the one who will protect me from the storm.
Hazri please don't keep quiet. I need to know what u think of me. As the silence between us passes day by day, i feel weaker and unprotected. Hazri please say something... quiet i no good.
