Sajak buat sahabat yang dirindui

Wahai sahabatku,

Kenapa dikau tiba-tiba menghilangkan diri,

Dulu, engkau yang beriya-iya untuk membuatku sahabatmu,

Kini dunia sudah berputar,

Ibarat perigi yang mencari timba

 

Sahabatku...dulu rasa rindu ni belom berputik di hatiku,

 Kini setelah kita menjadi begitu rapat daku seperti ingin selalu bersamamu,

Sejak dikau lama menghilangkan diri rasa rindu ini semakin bernanah di hatiku,

Mungkin dikau tidak akan menjadi mujahidku kelak,

Akan tetapi ku berharap agar dikau menghargai persahabatan ini

 

Sahabatku...kelakuanmu saban hari membuatku rasa bingung

Kadangkala ada juga rasa tertekan dan marah yang membuak-buak,

 

Dimanakah engkau menghilangkan diri, wahai sahabatku yang tersayang?

Selagi aku dikurniakan kesabaran ini, aku akan tetap bersabar,

Tetapi sahabatku...aku khuatir jika suatu hari aku terpaksa meninggalkan kamu,

Aku tidak sanggup melihat itu semua itu berlaku,

 

Ya Allah...aku ingin menitipkan sahabatku kepadaMu...

Lindungi dia dari segala bahaya,

Berilah dia kekuatan untuk mengejar cita-citanya

Berilah dia kebahagian disamping keluarganya serta orang yang tersayang

Amin...

 

#Rindu yang teramat

 

14 August 2012

Dear Allah,

I was not so happy with my dip plus results that i received today. But I know that i was expected to get that kind of results because firstly, i did not finish the paper and secondly, i felt that i did not study enough for my test.

I do not know to whom i should say sorry to because i did not put in "my best" in the test as well as my work.

Currently, at work i still own Regina my Rail Corridor walking map. I really don't know what is happening to me, ya allah.

The negative attitude that i still practice in life is PROCRASTINATION. I was given 1 month to complete the walking map but i exceeded the time. I took my own sweet time to do it.

When August came, there were suddenly more work to do and i had to ignore my map for awhile. Ignore does not mean i did not have to do it anymore. Ignore simply means i got more work piling up waiting for me to give my attention to them.

What is happening to me, ya allah? Pls guide me Allah....pls guide me. Pls remove the lazyness in me. I can't stand it any longer. I have seen a lot of things came crushing right in front of me due to my lazyness.

I really want to change ya allah. I really do...please guide life me to change into a better person ya allah....Pls have some mercy on me ya allah.

The only last chance to prove myself is the upcoming FYP project. I promise myself to put my all in this project. I want to do it!!! I really do.

As for my crush, Zul i am not sure to continue liking him or to just leave him alone. I don't want to become desperate. I want him to come to me and really tell me that he loves me and willing to take care of me. Ya allah, pls show me the signs if he is trully meant for me. I want to focus on my studies and i also want him to focus on his.

Ya Allah, please refrain the 2 of us from doing maksiat towards you. I depend on you to tell me the ending of this fairytale. I love him so much...Ya allah hopefully my love for him will not exceed my love for you.

I started to miss him ever since my internship starts. The long silence between us is killing me each day. What more with him texting me and telling me that he is suspected with HFMD. I am so worried about him. I don't know why.

Ya allah, please grant him the happiness that he ought to receive from you. I will always pray for his happiness and comfort with his family and loved ones. Ameen...

I miss work :(

I have to say that after my year 3 starts, i kind of miss working with Delifrance people. I will always look forward to my working days. I will diligently iron my uniform the nite before, try to be as punctual as possible.

With them time seemed to fly very fast. Especially when khairul is there working also. I know that he has someone that he loves. But despite that, i still admire him. He is my hero at work. I recall the incident when kak nor try to be rude to me and say: "Excuse me...excuse me...excuse me...tepi siket... buat keje terhegeh-hegeh". Then khairul comes to my rescue by saying: "Eh...kau marah dier eh???"...."Shidah okay tak?". :3 This conversation keeps repeating by itelf in my head before i go to sleep every night thinking of his heroic act. I still wonder why of all girls that work there, he choose to be good to me. Hmm....maybe i never make him angry before. That's why. I felt that he wants to be close to me and get to know me more.

Everytime near closing, i pity him. From his facial expression, i know his very tired. Sometimes when there is no customer, he will "complain" to me about his tirednes. I am sorry, i can't help him much. If only my dad own the restaurant or something, maybe i will put him in a better position and a better pay.

The part that i like about him is when he is doing his work and i try to look at his face and smile to him. He will look for a second and look elsewhere. I know that he knows that I am looking at him, but he is denying it.

Ya allah...pls guide me. If this is not the way it is supppose to be, pls avoid it for me. I dun want to break a relationship due to my selfishness. I am not that kind of person. I have to be focus on my work and my future.

                                            # Gonna miss him at work. :D

                          Dear Diary,

Today was my 2nd day in yr 3. I feel so shag after coming back from school. On the first day there were site visit for my very first Integrated Project 1. The boundary stretches from Kallang MRT to Lavender MRT. Man...it was huge. I can't deny that. The walk last for about almost 2 hrs. When i come home i did not do anything. Hug my pillow and went to sleep. Second day of school, the energy from my body getting lesser and lesser. This time round i went to the site at Orchard Road. It was very tired. Only Allah knows how tired i am. What's more with Nurhayat Magazine to settle. Ya Allah, pls grant me the energy to gain your knowledge. You know what's best for me. :(

Working at delifrance :D

Today marks my 3rd day working at delifrance. Hmm... to start off let me introduce my job scope as a trainee. Basically i had to be in the front line doing sandwiches and cashiering.

1st day: I was damn blurr. I don't know hw to react to my colleagues. They give me that look that i am from china. I only get to know my outlet manager, Mr. Handary. He is a nice guy actually. He expression did not change even if i did something wrong. Weird thing is that he always ask about my mum. Ooppss....anyways a girl name Vi taught me how to do sandwiches. The sequence of doing it and the different type of topping. I felt happy coz during break time i got to eat the things that i wanted. I also mange to bring back some food for my family. Meet a cute guy who dines in at the restaurant. Up till now can still remember how he looks like vividly. Oh my gosh! *blush* <3

2nd day: Was late for work. Everybody was busy doing work. It was during busy period. I am still blur like sotong. I pack for customer wrong things. Get warning (scolding) from manager. Manager was not satisfied with my attire cause i did not roll up my sleeves properly. I have this feeling that i wanted to cry on the spot but i hold back my tears. During closing there were only 3 workers and the manager. I really don't know what to do. When i ask them, nobody reply to me. They pretend that they did not hear me. I was reprimanded for mopping and sweeping so slowly. Khairul said that do not have to sweep until o clean. But this theory is definitely opposing to my mum's theory: Quality not quantity.

Today: I was late again. Someone by the name of Liza taught me how to sanitize my hand before starting work. Also, abang manager taught me how to do cashier. I struggled alot; only Allah knows how i am feeling at that point of time. Only the third day of work need to learn cashier. Somemore they teach me openly in front of customer. WTH. I feel so paiseh. I don't know where to hide my face. Everyone is treating me like a slow poke. :( *tears*

Having said a few days of my experience with them i can roughly said that my bond with them is still not there yet. First thing is that they are foreigner. I mean...come on... like how long can we last in conversations? The weird thing is that they are acting like local people and i was seen as a foreigner. The environment is totally different form Seoul Garden. I seriously miss the old times. From what i can match:

Vi behaves like Ina
Khairul behaves like An
Awang behaves like Abg hazri
Kak Nor behaves like noreen and siti sab combined (complicated).

I need time and space to heal itself. I not that i don't like the new environment but llike it or not i have to adapt. I am their worker. I signed a contract with them. They know my name. They know hw i look like. They know how i react to their expression. I just can't turn back time.

Maybe a new love chapter begins here....or maybe i will witness love being shattered in front of again. Only Allah knows. Nobody know the future. But one thing for sure i am not going to work here forever. That's for sure. hehe.. gd nite. I am sooooo........tired. Tmrw 4-11pm. Can't be late again. I will always pray that tmrw will be a better day for me at work. Insyallah. Ya allah pls guide me along and reveal to me things which i am yet to learn. Pls do not hurt the feelings of those who will be teaching me. Pls give them patience and the willingness to teach me thru everything. Amin ya rabbal allamin.